For anyone who has suffered abuse at the hands of someone they should have been able to trust, this book may speak to you. This book will open your eyes to a world that children don’t deserve to live in, although sadly, some do.
Don’t Tell will raise awareness to what hides in plain sight, because you can’t see it or hear it, and in this case, it was because young Troy had no voice.
The events in this account are powerful, shocking, saddening and rage-inducing, and incites the feeling of utter helplessness, because Troy’s life is now over and done with, and nothing can undo that.
Don’t Tell is the story of a little boy so traumatized and abused, that it sounds almost unbelievable. Is it even possible that a woman, a mother, someone meant to love and nurture, really could have been such a monster? By all accounts, yes.
This book gives a voice to a little boy who had none, until as an adult he turned to a childhood friend and asked that she serve as his voice, his advocate, his cry to be seen and heard.
We see you, Troy. We hear your voice, even though you have now gone silent in death. It will carry on as your legacy with this book. May those who read, hear; those who hear, listen; those who listen, speak out and stand up for any child who has yet to be heard.
Elly Mossman – author, illustrator
“Don’t Tell” is not a literary text nor a narrative essay about abuse; rather, it combines features of a childhood reminiscence, a social expose, and a testimonial to the life of a friend irrevocably marred by trauma, misunderstanding, and rejection, as well, of course, by abuse and addiction.
Although Teri commanded her child not to tell, our society needs to listen to Troy’s story and better protect vulnerable children.
We all failed Troy. Teri may have repeatedly told Troy, “Don’t tell” but we are fortunate that he did in such compelling detail, with both pathos and humour.
Philip V. Allingham, Ph. D., Professor Emeritus, Formerly: Faculty of Education, and Adjunct Professor, Department of English, Lakehead University, Thunder Bay, Ontario.
Don’t Tell is a deeply moving and courageous firsthand account from Troy, offering an unflinching look at what a childhood of neglect and abuse can do to a person over the course of a lifetime. This is not an easy read, but it is an important one.
The book does an excellent job of illustrating how early trauma doesn’t simply fade with time, it shapes identity, relationships, and the way a person moves through the world long after childhood has ended.
This story does not follow the traditional path of a neatly wrapped, happy ending that many readers might hope for. Instead, it offers something more honest and, in its own way, meaningful. What remains is a sense that Troy found his peace, along with a family and circle of friends who continue to share their memories of him and find solace in those reflections. That authenticity is what makes this book so impactful.
The writing is heartfelt and well done, and I truly appreciated the insight into a life and experience that deserves to be shared. Don’t Tell is a sobering reminder of the long-term effects of childhood trauma, but also a testament to the importance of telling these stories even when they are painful. I would recommend this book to readers who value honesty, depth, and real-life perspectives that stay with you long after the final page.
Samantha Miller, ARC Reviewer
Don't Tell was a very emotional book that touched my heart deeply. It is definitely an eye opener for the abuse that no child should EVER withstand.
Troy did not deserve what he had to endure through his young age. I wish he was able to speak up and tell someone who would have been able to help him.
Tracy Turnage, ARC Reviewer
I do not often read non-fiction. If I think about why, I prefer to be entertained by something made up with some sense of believability, rather than having to visualise the reality of some people’s true lives. And whilst Don’t Tell broke with that preference, I am so very glad I did because whilst this was not an easy read, wow was it a wakeup call to appreciate the tragedy of some people’s lives.
At the heart of Don’t Tell is an abused child who has grown into a very troubled man. What particularly caught my attention was the way the author not only revealed the trauma of the young and older central character, Troy, through his own eyes, but also the impact and influence of those others in his life, both good and bad.
It is difficult to summarise my feelings for Don’t Tell but the author’s command of the written word to describe a truly brutal life was both compelling and riveting. I can honestly say, I am glad I did invest my precious reading time absorbed in it. It is a book that has stayed with me since reading the final page.
Highly recommend
PJ’s Reviews
The events narrated in Troy Eklund’s story Don’t Tell were never meant to see the light of day – not if the engrained childhood admonition to never speak of these events was followed.
Thankfully, as an adult, Troy Eklund disregarded this mandate in favor of the healing that comes from exposure and truth, and so Don’t Tell survived to see the light of day and provide hard-hitting revelations about family secrets, abuse, and survival tactics. Unfortunately, Eklund did not survive his struggles, and so this book is a posthumous creation based on Teresa Schapansky’s interviews.
By now, readers should have absorbed that Don’t Tell holds many trigger warnings and comes with a caution that the story won’t be uplifting or easy. It will be worth the read, for those interested in emotionally charged accounts of achieving recovery, becoming invincible by truth-telling, and firmly grasping second chances in life.
One of Eklund’s purposes in crafting this narrative is to expose a toxic mother who, on the face of things, seemed the best mother in the world. Another is to chronicle how a child can survive living long-term in the eye of a storm of abuse at home, and how addiction in his home is delivered with a mandate to never reveal the truth about what was taking place.
Perspectives shift in this story, reaching out to embrace the observations of friends and others privy to parts of Eklund’s story, such as babysitter Colleen Olson. The incorporation of these disparate viewpoints strengthens the story and outlines events from different vantage points to lend further insights into how addiction, abuse, and family secrets evolve.
Few other memoirs offer the immediacy and family insights of Don’t Tell. The spotlight may be on Teri Eklund’s choices and abusive ways, but it also lands on the impact of this childhood on adult Troy, who battles his own demons as a result of an ongoing lack of emotional support:
Mom, in her unique, loving way wasn’t pleased that I’d stuck to my guns and had proven both her and Bill wrong. She spoke not a word of praise and her facial expressions made it clear that she was less than thrilled that I was earning a decent living and enjoying a good, clean life.
In particular, the legacy of the mandate “don’t tell” comes to roost in unexpected ways as the child grows into a man and the mother/son relationship shifts:
By the fifth grade, I had begun to see mom in a different way, and it felt as though a dynamic relationship shift had occurred between us overnight. For every inch I’d grown taller and broader, she’d decreased in size proportionately before my very eyes. There were multiple times, when I’d caught her stealing looks in my direction with a hint of fear in her expression. I knew without a doubt and with every inch of my being, that this stemmed from every single incident in my life, when she had ordered, “don’t tell.”
The result is a powerful chronicle of parenting, family ties and secrets, addiction and crime, and recovery and love that will draw and immerse readers in many ways.
Libraries and readers seeking hard-hitting, emotionally impactful memoirs that come not just from a son’s experiences but the insights of everyone around him, from ex-husbands to babysitters and family friends, will find Don’t Tell a powerful force. It deserves consideration for book clubs, emotional support groups, family counseling circles, and anyone interested in the road to personal liberation from past experiences.
D. Donovan, Sr. Reviewer, Midwest Book Review
I received a free copy of "Don't Tell" from LibraryThing. I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but it didn't disappoint me. It was well written and sad, horrifying and optimistic. A sad story about a horrifically abused child telling his story as an adult.
Rita, ARC Reviewer