Reviews

Compelling, detailed, and a testament to the life-long impact of  early child abuse and parental neglect, "Don't Tell" by the late Troy  Eklund and deftly written by Teresa Schapansky is an extraordinary and candid memoir that is unreservedly recommended reading for anyone with a  concerned interest in the subject of sexual assault, child abuse, and  abuse recovery. 

Exceptionally well written, organized and presented,  "Don't Tell" is a unique and very special pick for personal,  professional, community, and college/university library Child  Abuse/Sexual Abuse & Recover collections and supplemental curriculum  studies lists.
 

Helen Dumont's Bookshelf, MBR Bookwatch

For anyone who has suffered abuse at the hands  of someone they should have been able to trust, this book may speak to you. This book will open your eyes to a world that children don’t deserve to live in, although sadly, some do. 

Don’t Tell will raise awareness to what hides in plain sight, because you can’t  see it or hear it, and in this case, it was because young Troy had no voice.

The events in this account are powerful, shocking, saddening and  rage-inducing, and incites the feeling of utter helplessness, because Troy’s life is now over and done with, and nothing can undo that. 

Don’t Tell is the story of a little boy so traumatized and abused, that it sounds  almost unbelievable. Is it even possible that a woman, a mother, someone  meant to love and nurture, really could have been such a monster? By all accounts, yes.

This book gives a voice to a little boy who had none, until as an adult he  turned to a childhood friend and asked that she serve as his voice, his  advocate, his cry to be seen and heard.

We see you, Troy. We hear your voice, even though you have now gone silent  in death. It will carry on as your legacy with this book. May those who  read, hear; those who hear, listen; those who listen, speak out and  stand up for any child who has yet to be heard.

Elly Mossman – author, illustrator

“Don’t Tell” is not a literary text nor a  narrative essay about abuse; rather, it combines features of a childhood reminiscence, a social expose, and a testimonial to the life of a friend irrevocably marred by trauma, misunderstanding, and rejection, as well, of course, by abuse and addiction.

Although Teri commanded her child not to tell, our society needs to listen to  Troy’s story and better protect vulnerable children. 

We all failed Troy. Teri may have repeatedly told Troy, “Don’t tell” but we are fortunate that he did in such compelling detail, with both pathos and humour.

Philip V. Allingham, Ph. D., Professor Emeritus,  Formerly: Faculty of Education, and Adjunct Professor, Department of English, Lakehead University, Thunder Bay, Ontario.

Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is a deeply personal and harrowing  memoir based on the life story of Troy Edward Eklund. The book walks you  through Troy’s painful childhood, his addiction, and his fight for a  better life—all before his sudden death in 2025. Troy and his sister  Sonja went through things no kid should ever face, mostly at the hands  of their mother, Teri. Troy spent a lot of time with her, and it was  even worse. He dealt with his mother's violent boyfriends and adults  around him who took advantage of his vulnerability. By the time he was a  teen, he was working on fishing boats, missing classes, and pretty much  fending for himself. Drug use started early—thanks to his mother, who  used it as a twisted form of reward. He started acting out, stealing  from neighbors, and sank deeper into trouble. He also tried to please  his mother, who never truly cared. This book shares Troy's struggles  with life, work, and addiction, and his mother's behavior and other  illegal dealings.
 

Don't Tell gives a raw and unfiltered look into the traumatic life of a  man who searched for healing and redemption from his past. This is a  story that makes you pause and think about the darkness many children  face in the world, and the pain hidden by most people who live lives  similar to that of Troy Eklund. The innocence and childhood that were  stolen can never be restored. Teresa Schapansky did an excellent job of  recounting Troy’s life in British Columbia. She captured the essence of  the hippie era, the drugs, the alcohol, and reckless living that looked liberating but left children neglected and exposed to dangerous vices.  This book covers issues that may be triggering to sensitive readers, but it is worth reading because it reminds us to be advocates for child  protection. It also encourages others with similar experiences to tell  their stories and keep hope alive.

Doreen Chombu for Readers’ Favorite

Don’t Tell is a deeply moving and courageous firsthand account from Troy, offering an unflinching look at what a childhood of neglect and abuse can do to a person over the course of a  lifetime. This is not an easy read, but it is an important one. 

The book does an excellent job of illustrating how early trauma doesn’t simply  fade with time, it shapes identity, relationships, and the way a person  moves through the world long after childhood has ended.

This story does not follow the  traditional path of a neatly wrapped, happy ending that many readers might hope for. Instead, it offers something more honest and, in its own way, meaningful. What remains is a sense that Troy found his peace, along with a family and circle of friends who continue to share their memories of him and find solace in those reflections. That authenticity is what makes this book so impactful.

The writing is heartfelt and well  done, and I truly appreciated the insight into a life and experience  that deserves to be shared. Don’t Tell is a sobering reminder of the  long-term effects of childhood trauma, but also a testament to the  importance of telling these stories even when they are painful. I would  recommend this book to readers who value honesty, depth, and real-life  perspectives that stay with you long after the final page.

Samantha Miller, ARC Reviewer

Don't Tell was a very emotional book that  touched my heart deeply. It is definitely an eye opener for the abuse that no child should EVER withstand. 

Troy did not deserve what he had to endure through his young age. I wish he was able to speak up and tell someone who would have been able to help him.

Tracy Turnage, ARC Reviewer

I do not often read non-fiction. If I think about why, I prefer to be entertained by something made up with some sense of believability, rather than having to visualise the reality of some people’s true lives. And whilst Don’t Tell broke with that preference, I am so very glad I did because whilst this was not an easy read, wow was it a wakeup call to appreciate the tragedy of some people’s lives.
 

At the heart of Don’t Tell is an abused child who has grown into a very troubled man. What particularly caught my attention was the way the author not only revealed the trauma of the young and older central character, Troy, through his own eyes, but also the impact and influence of those others in his life, both good and bad.
 

It is difficult to summarise my feelings for Don’t Tell but the author’s command of the written word to describe a truly brutal life was both compelling and riveting. I can honestly say, I am glad I did invest my precious reading time absorbed in it. It is a book that has stayed with me since reading the final page.
 

Highly recommend

PJ’s Reviews 

The events narrated in Troy Eklund’s story Don’t Tell were never meant to see the light of day – not if the engrained childhood admonition to never speak of these events was followed.

Thankfully, as an adult, Troy Eklund disregarded this mandate in favor of the healing that comes from exposure and truth, and so Don’t Tell survived to see the light of day and provide hard-hitting revelations about family secrets, abuse, and survival tactics. Unfortunately, Eklund did not survive his struggles, and so this book is a posthumous creation based on Teresa Schapansky’s interviews.

By now, readers should have absorbed that Don’t Tell holds many trigger warnings and comes with a caution that the story won’t be uplifting or easy. It will be worth the read, for those interested in emotionally charged accounts of achieving recovery, becoming invincible by truth-telling, and firmly grasping second chances in life.

One of Eklund’s purposes in crafting this narrative is to expose a toxic mother who, on the face of things, seemed the best mother in the world. Another is to chronicle how a child can survive living long-term in the eye of a storm of abuse at home, and how addiction in his home is delivered with a mandate to never reveal the truth about what was taking place.

Perspectives shift in this story, reaching out to embrace the observations of friends and others privy to parts of Eklund’s story, such as babysitter Colleen Olson. The incorporation of these disparate viewpoints strengthens the story and outlines events from different vantage points to lend further insights into how addiction, abuse, and family secrets evolve.

Few other memoirs offer the immediacy and family insights of Don’t Tell. The spotlight may be on Teri Eklund’s choices and abusive ways, but it also lands on the impact of this childhood on adult Troy, who battles his own demons as a result of an ongoing lack of emotional support:

Mom, in her unique, loving way wasn’t pleased that I’d stuck to my guns and had proven both her and Bill wrong. She spoke not a word of praise and her facial expressions made it clear that she was less than thrilled that I was earning a decent living and enjoying a good, clean life.

In particular, the legacy of the mandate “don’t tell” comes to roost in unexpected ways as the child grows into a man and the mother/son relationship shifts:

By the fifth grade, I had begun to see mom in a different way, and it felt as though a dynamic relationship shift had occurred between us overnight. For every inch I’d grown taller and broader, she’d decreased in size proportionately before my very eyes. There were multiple times, when I’d caught her stealing looks in my direction with a hint of fear in her expression. I knew without a doubt and with every inch of my being, that this stemmed from every single incident in my life, when she had ordered, “don’t tell.”

The result is a powerful chronicle of parenting, family ties and secrets, addiction and crime, and recovery and love that will draw and immerse readers in many ways.

Libraries and readers seeking hard-hitting, emotionally impactful memoirs that come not just from a son’s experiences but the insights of everyone around him, from ex-husbands to babysitters and family friends, will find Don’t Tell a powerful force. It deserves consideration for book clubs, emotional support groups, family counseling circles, and anyone interested in the road to personal liberation from past experiences. 

D. Donovan, Sr. Reviewer, Midwest Book Review

Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is the gripping memoir of Troy  Eklund, a young boy who suffered at the hands of his own mother and  never got to enjoy a normal childhood. All Troy knew while growing up  was a life of scavenging, stealing, and a house full of drugs and random  men. He thought it was normal and did not understand when others made  fun of the way he lived with his drug-addicted mother, Teri. To make  matters worse, Teri went above and beyond to make money, scamming people  and putting Troy’s life in danger. Despite being a good student and  athlete, Troy’s school life was affected by his continuous absences. And  when he started doing drugs himself, Troy found himself stuck in a  cycle he could not escape.
 

Don’t Tell is an emotional read that will make your blood boil and make  you realize the importance of helping others, especially children who  desperately need protection and support. It shows how abusive and  dysfunctional family environments badly shape one’s understanding of the  world and affect one's future. The story is told by Troy and other  people who knew him and his mother. It is shocking and very sad that a  vibrant and promising man had to go through so much trauma. Teresa  Schapansky’s work is well-organized with intriguing chapters and photos  of people mentioned in the book. Troy’s story covers many lessons on  determination. Despite experiencing many setbacks, he showed strength  and a strong will to reclaim his life and find his self-worth. His  courage to tell his story and own up to his mistakes was really  formidable. If you want to understand how abuse, addiction, and neglect  can break a person, then this book is absolutely worth your time. 

Reviewed by Luwi Nyakansaila for Readers’ Favorite               

I received a free copy of "Don't Tell" from LibraryThing. I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, but it didn't disappoint me. It was well written and sad, horrifying and optimistic. A  sad story about a horrifically abused child telling his story as an  adult.

Rita, ARC Reviewer

Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky honors the heartbreaking but profound life story of the late Troy Eklund. The memoir takes us through a childhood lived in complete uncertainty, as Troy moved from one run-down home to another, including an off-grid cabin, across British Columbia. Raised by an abusive mother who was heavily involved in the local drug trade, young Troy was subjected to abuse, severe neglect, and exposed to adult vices from a very early age. Sadly, he was ordered, on many occasions, to keep these dark family secrets hidden from others. This proved to be a burden that isolated him from the outside world. Yet, despite the overwhelming hardships he endured, Troy did everything he could to find solid ground through his education, running track, and working on commercial fishing vessels. In the end, his life is a testament to the incredible inner strength required for a child to hold on to their humanity, while instability grows all around them.
 

There’s no sugarcoating it: Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is a heavy, raw memoir that genuinely impacted me. It takes a hard look at real childhood abuse and a lack of systemic support, making it a very difficult and emotional read. But Troy’s voice came through with heartfelt honesty. What stood out to me the most was how the book incorporated eyewitness accounts from his uncle, sister, adult friends from his youth, former babysitter, and high school coach. Hearing those different perspectives really validated the grim reality of what Troy endured and showed how much people in the community really cared for him. The memoir completely avoids sensationalism, focusing rather on the actual psychological strain children endure while carrying family secrets for decades. If you’re drawn to honest accounts of survival, resilience, and the lifelong journey toward healing after childhood trauma, then this book is definitely for you. 

Reviewed by David Jaggart for Readers’ Favorite 

Don't Tell by Teresa Schapansky is a deeply  distressing survivor narrative centered on childhood abuse and long term  psychological trauma, told through the perspective of adult reflection  on suppressed and recovered memories.

A defining strength of the  book is its emotional candor. The narrative does not soften or obscure  the severity of the experiences described, instead presenting them in a  direct, unflinching manner that underscores the long-lasting impact of  childhood abuse on identity, memory, and emotional development.

The  structure rooted in personal recollection and eyewitness accounts  creates a fragmented but powerful testimony. This approach reflects the  nature of trauma memory itself, where clarity, suppression, and  resurfacing often coexist in uneven but meaningful ways.

Another  notable aspect is the author’s framing of survivor voice and  accountability. The work positions itself not only as a personal account  but also as a broader statement about the responsibility of caregivers  and the devastating consequences when that responsibility is violated.

The  tone is intentionally heavy and is clearly not intended for casual  reading. Instead, it serves as a testimonial record aimed at bearing  witness and giving voice to experiences that are often hidden or  silenced.

Overall, Don’t Tell will primarily resonate with  readers of survivor memoirs, trauma studies, psychological recovery  narratives, and readers engaged with social and familial abuse awareness  literature.

 Kristen Connell, ARC Reviewer